It happens the same time every year, once the signs of fall start to arrive – the air is crisper, the days grow shorter, the nights cooler, and the leaves start to turn. After being dormant all summer, it lies in wait for those few ghostly weeks leading up to Halloween to commence the howling.  It’s like the smell of wood-smoke in the air signals that it’s time for all spirits to come out and play.  

I live in an old house, and old houses tend to be haunted, so I’m used to it by now.  The creaks and sighs of an old house are part of their charm and character, but I admit the last few years have been trying.  I’ve lost my patience with the beast.

The noise starts out low…a mere groan…followed by a continuous howling moan……which crescendos into a whistling sound, somewhat reminiscent of an old tea kettle then at the end it’s shrieking like a banshee…..then silence….complete silence….well not always, there may be a small hiss or two after the grand finale, as if it’s exhausted all it’s efforts.  Just to let me know it’s there, signing off.  

I can’t even tell where it’s coming from, as it seems to move from room to room, following me around like some long lost shadow. I can sense it’s eerie presence just over my shoulder but when I turn, there’s nothing there. Maybe it’s slunk back into those solid plaster walls. Sometimes I even wonder if it’s coming from outside as there have been sightings of coyotes in the neighborhood.

It’s intermittent – so you’re always on edge, and like all things that go bump in the night, it’s worse when you’re lying in bed, imagining all sorts of things flitting about in the dark.  

It’s exhausting dealing with such a creature.  I can’t get any sleep.  I want it gone!

So I finally called in one of those companies specializing in the exorcism of such matters, a Ghostbuster-type firm if you will.  (I can read the skepticism in your eyes from here, but I was that desperate.)  Fortunately, I had recorded it for them on my cell phone, as evidence, as best I could in the dark, because as you know ghosts seldom appear in broad daylight.

They came – with their flashlights and meters and paranormal paraphernalia – and examined every nook and cranny for the origin of the noise, but after several hours they left baffled, after googling (googling mind you, after I paid them all that money!) leaving me with some crazy theory about the “harmonics” of old houses and how they settle over time.  They told me I just have to put up with it, and I admit once Halloween is over, the sound does tend to dissipate somewhat.  Maybe it hibernates for the winter, like a big fat bear, which might explain where all the leftover Halloween candy disappears to…

They did leave me an option, but’s an expensive one. I can either move or replace….

Happy Halloween!

PS. HaHaHa….I can’t believe they were foolish enough to fall for that stupid “harmonics” theory.  I planted that on the Internet just for fun.  I used to hang around outside…

but after she stopped doing Halloween I was forced indoors. And now here I am, living in the furnace until next year – my wispy appendages tucked up to fit inside the boiler and when the burner blower kicks on I do what I do best – howl!!!!!!!!!! It’s not a bad place to spend the winter – it’s warm and cozy – if you don’t mind hot water heat.  Personally I’d rather have the type with duct work, as think of the fun I could have then! A spook in every room, instead of having to float up through the radiators. I think I’ll have another chocolate bar….